In my practice I often work with parents experiencing a divorce or change in custody and possession schedules. It bears repeating …..research shows that children, whose parents maintain positive and healthy communication, fare far better emotionally than those from homes where bad mouthing, negative comments and discord among parents is evident as they move on and apart. As a professional I believe it is also important to protect younger children as much as possible from the “adult” issues such as substance abuse or criminal problems. Sometimes we want to be honest with our child, not realizing adult matters can cause anxiety and worry for younger children. It is important to work with professionals in order to discern how much information and when. As children grow and mature we can provide them age appropriate information that they can handle with support and help. It is also important to help children understand and confirm they don’t have to solve their parents problems or be a middle person between them. This is especially true when children begin to worry about a parent who is having difficulty or missing from their life due to legal or substance abuse issues, which in turn prevents contact and visits.
At a training this past fall with Anne Termini, she showed us the following video from Filmmaker Teun van der Zalm, form Europe. I hope we can all learn something from it.
Be Well and Take Care,